Are you a die-hard football fan who loves powerful words as much as game-winning goals? ⚽ Then you’ve just scored big! Welcome to our riddles and quotes hub—where we serve up the best wisdom, wit, and motivation straight from the world of football.
In this freshly updated 2025 edition, we’ve gathered the most iconic and inspiring Football Quotes that will fire up your passion, whether you’re on the field or cheering from the stands. Plus,
with our super-handy copy button feature, you can easily share your favorite quotes with your team, friends, or social followers in just one click. Let’s kick off the quote game!
Classic Funny Football Quotes
Best Pick: Football is like chess but without the dice – Lukas Podolski
- We lost because we didn’t win – Ronaldo
- The ball is round the game lasts 90 minutes and everything else is just theory – Sepp Herberger
- Some people believe football is a matter of life and death I can assure you it is much more serious than that – Bill Shankly
- If you eat caviar every day it’s difficult to return to sausages – Arsène Wenger
- I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that idiot – Ron Atkinson
- That was a perfect tackle apart from one thing he didn’t get the ball – Kevin Keegan
- I spent a lot of money on booze birds and fast cars The rest I just squandered – George Best
- We didn’t underestimate them They were just a lot better than we thought – Bobby Robson
- They say Rome wasn’t built in a day but I wasn’t on that particular job – Brian Clough
- I couldn’t settle in Italy It was like living in a foreign country – Ian Rush
- My wife doesn’t like football She just watches it for the drama – Thierry Henry
- The trouble with referees is they know the rules but they don’t know the game – Bill Shankly
Funny Quotes About Football Players
Best Pick: He dribbles like a rabbit in the sand – Ray Hudson
- Messi is so good that he could play a game of chess and still score a hat-trick – Unknown
- I told my wife the truth I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist Then she told me she was seeing a psychiatrist two plumbers and a bartender – Rodney Dangerfield
- I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business but I was in the top one – Brian Clough
- When I was young I used to watch Messi videos Now he watches mine – Neymar (joking)
- He’s so fast he makes fast people look not fast – John Madden
- Footballers are the only people who can talk about their work while they are working – Unknown
- My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan – Eric Cantona
- I took a whack on my left ankle but something told me it was my right – Lee Hendrie
- The only way to stop Messi is to tie his legs together – Unknown
- The ball was coming at me like a bullet so I closed my eyes and hit it – Dwight Yorke
- I’ve never been so tired in my life My legs are gone but at least my hair still looks good – David Beckham
- If a player isn’t interfering with play or seeking to gain an advantage then what is he doing on the pitch? – Brian Clough
Funny Football Quotes About Coaching
Best Pick: I wouldn’t say I’m the best manager but I’m in the top one – Brian Clough
- If you don’t believe you can win there’s no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day – Neville Southall
- The first 90 minutes are the most important – Bobby Robson
- If you are first you are first If you are second you are nothing – Bill Shankly
- A football team is like a piano You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the thing – Jock Stein
- I told my players during halftime that if we didn’t come out strong we might as well give up Turns out we had already given up – Unknown
- I can’t believe it I can’t believe it Football Bloody hell – Sir Alex Ferguson
- I’ve had 15 players give everything they’ve got for me today and one dud – Tommy Docherty
- I had a 50-50 chance of getting it right but I was never good at math – Glenn Hoddle
- You can’t say my team aren’t winners They’ve proved that by finishing second – Gerard Houllier
- Don’t tell me about tactics When I was at Ipswich we were fourth and then we were first – Bobby Robson
- We didn’t deserve to lose but we weren’t quite good enough to win – Frank Lampard
- I told my team to pass the ball but apparently they thought I meant pass it to the other team – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Football Fans
Best Pick: Football fans never forget They just wait for the right moment to remind you
- A football fan’s mood depends entirely on 11 strangers kicking a ball around
- The best thing about football? The beer The worst thing? The game ruining the beer – Unknown
- My doctor told me to watch my drinking so now I watch football with one eye on my beer – Unknown
- You know you’re a football fan when your weekend happiness depends on a group of people you’ve never met
- My wife asked me if I loved her more than football I said ‘You or club football?’ – Unknown
- There’s nothing like the stress of watching a match where your team isn’t even playing
- A football fan’s diet consists of hope nerves and last-minute goals
- The only thing louder than a goal celebration is a bad referee decision
- Being a football fan means believing in miracles and blaming referees
- I thought I was fit until I jumped up to celebrate a goal and pulled a muscle
- Watching football is easy Playing football is easy Supporting a team is the hardest job in the world
- There’s no such thing as a friendly football match Not when fans are involved
Funny Football Quotes About Referees
Best Pick: Referees don’t make mistakes They make decisions
- The referee is always right except when he’s completely wrong
- If you ever feel useless remember there’s a referee in every game
- Some referees have two jobs Football and ruining my weekend
- A good referee is like a ghost You should never notice they’re there
- I’d agree with the referee but then we’d both be wrong
- If I had a dollar for every bad referee decision I’d buy my own VAR system
- The referee blew his whistle so hard I thought he was calling his dog
- Referees make sure no one is happy not even themselves
- I thought my eyesight was bad until I saw the referee’s decisions
- I told the referee he was blind He told me he saw everything I did wrong
- If referees had emotions they’d be fans
- The best referees are the ones who don’t exist
Funny Quotes About Football Goals
Best Pick: I shoot I miss I shoot again I miss again That’s football
- Scoring a goal is easy The hard part is celebrating without falling over
- The best goal celebrations are the ones where nobody gets injured
- A striker’s job is to miss just enough times to make the goal look amazing
- I tried to chip the keeper but I ended up chipping my own pride
- You don’t need skill to score You need luck and a lot of failed attempts
- The goalpost is my biggest rival It’s always in the wrong place
- Sometimes you score Sometimes you hit row Z
- I aimed for the top corner but the ball had other ideas
- A last-minute goal is the football version of a plot twist
- If you don’t shoot you don’t score Unless you’re playing against your own team
- The net is so big and I still miss That’s talent
- You don’t have to be fast to score You just need to be in the right place when the ball bounces off someone
Conclusion
Football is full of drama skill and most importantly humor These funny football quotes remind us why we love the game and why we keep coming back no matter how stressful it gets
